What my dad taught me.

 

To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others. 

Pope John Paul II 

 

    As I get older I appreciate what my parents have stood for in their lives more and more.  My dad is what you would call a man's man.  He could surf, camp, fish, hunt and always provided for his family.  My dad wasn't perfect-no one is, but his love for his family is a force to be reckoned with. 

I appreciate how my dad always takes the time to teach people how to do things.  He has coached, taught and served in many ways.

    One of the things I loved the most about my dad was his habit of not allowing our family to gossip about people.  I remember many times when we would begin to say something negative and he would clear his throat a little bit. This was a hint to stop going down that road. 

   It sounds like a small thing but I am grateful he helped me early in my life to not participate in hateful talk.  Hateful talk turns to hateful behavior. 

  I am sure he learned this skill from his mother.  I do not remember my grandma Audrey ever saying a bad thing about anyone. 

So, thanks dad for  teaching me to work hard and starting me on the road to being well rounded person.  Because of you I can work on a car, throw a ball, use power tools and keep my mouth shut when I need to.  It sure has been a better life because of many  good things you have done for our family.

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. 
                               ~James D. Miles

  

Luke

      I can't say anything that has not been said  before about the birth of a new baby.  Trying to give words to the experience I feel that I can not find them.  I have such admiration for the parents who have the courage to bring a new life into the world and embrace the opportunity to be responsible for  that child's care.

    On the day of Luke's birth I made it to the delivery room just in time to help Tasha through the pushing process.  Her devoted husband never left her side.  When the pain hit the point where Tasha was at her limit I had the most tender moment looking into her eyes as if to say, "I understand your pain, you can do this and  it will be worth it."  With trust she grabbed my hand, nodded her head and pushed through the pain.   

      I was so proud of my daughter that day for many reasons.  Tasha felt prompted that this baby should come at a time when her body was still healing from other things.  This decison  made her pregnancy hard on her in many ways.   She felt more emotional and tired during her pregnancy because her depression compounded it.  When Tasha made the choice that bringing a child into this world more important than herself it was the beginning of many  sacrifices she would make for baby Luke.

     Baby Luke has brought many blessings to our family.  His life has given our family the strength to heal old wounds and create new love. 

      A treasured moment for me during the minutes after Luke's birth was when my Son-in-law said to me,  "This is all I have ever wanted..."  He was referring to a wife like Tasha and a sweet baby.  I am so grateful for Brandon. 

      In closing I know I can not do justice to this amazing experience.  I would like to end with a quote from one of Tasha's favorite artists.  A man who could see deeper beauty in the midst of pain.



    "If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle."

Vincent Van Gogh

Thank you Moon family for sharing your greatest creation.  We love you all. 

The Bigger Picture

     It has been said  that Families are like wind chimes.  When one piece of the wind chime makes a movement no matter how small, it causes the other sections to move as well.


     When one person makes a choice it effects other members of the family.  I am grateful for members of my family that try to make choices that will strengthen others.  My family has been a strength to me.

       All families  have disagreements on issues.  Sometimes people battle instead of talk.  Sometimes people seek revenge instead of seeking information.  Right now I am caught in the middle of such a battle.  As the arrows are shot they harm the innocent bystanders.  The ones that suffer the most are the children.  They are caught in an atmosphere of distress and tension.  If we are not careful we model for them how to fight, attack and find fault.  This can backfire on us if our children learn to use these weapons against their own families in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a story I love  about a group of  people who bury their weapons of war and refuse to battle anymore.  I am amazed by how brave these people  were.  They knew  they would be attacked again and could die for their commitment to peace.  The people in this story who committed not to fight were willing to do what they knew what was right even if they felt their attackers were wrong. 

 

 

I stand in the middle of this conflict with my weapons buried.

  I refuse to hate, attack and seek revenge. 

 

 

   Will  you join me?

Paddle hard-

        Once I had a friend tell me:  "To raise kids in San Diego you have to paddle hard."
She had moved here from Utah and was feeling a difference in the culture.   Shortly after this conversation I had an experience at La Jolla cove.


          Our family was visiting The Cove one day and my daughter Megan wanted to swim to the caves.  My dad warned us it was not a good idea because of tides, currents and other conditions.  My dad has lived in San Diego his whole life and knows what he is talking about.  Megan  wanted to go anyway and did not listen to him.  The other cautious family members stayed on the shore while Megan and I headed out.
        My older brother John came with us, probably  to keep us safe and lead the way.  . 
  The direction we were swimming was against the current and it took most of our strength to get to a low cliff for safety.  As we tried to climb out of the water the waves smashed us against the barnacles and the rocks cut the heck out of our legs.  Because of this  Megan began crying and was very scared.   The only way out  of the water was causing us to be slammed hard against hurtful and damaging rocks.

  At this point a kind man who was on the rock said "Come this way, it is safer!"    

 My brother was giving us the same direction from behind. The man put his hand down,  guided us to a smoother path and lifted us out of the water. 

   When everything was over we had blood dripping down our knees from  our cuts.  I have to admit I felt pretty awesome having survived our dangerous adventure. 

  I will briefly explain the point I am trying to make.
  When my children were young I could swim along with them and protect them from the sharks of life.  I could make sure when they went into the deep water they had a  guide beside them who knew the way.  When the tide and currents took them to places they never intended to go, I could help them find the hand that would lift them  to safety.

  Now my girls have grown up and are charting deep waters on their own. 
 I hope they recognize the experienced  voice  warning them  from the shore. 
 I hope they take along  an older brother who loves them   for a guide. 
And when they crash against the rocks I hope they reach up for the hand that waits to pull them to safety.   

I am confident they will.

The Lingo Of James

   

  My son James has a language of his own.  He makes us laugh so hard when he comes up with new words and Ideas.  Here are just a few of his gems.

EVOLVaLATE_-From the word Evolution this was the word James created at the age of 4.  He  started using it to describe how Pokemon's change.  Now he is certain Tasha's baby will EVOLVALATE into a real kid someday.

DEMI_GOD-  James is certain he is a Demi-god (at least on the playground).  This is because God is his real father and he has been born to the Mortals David and Michelle.  This kind of logic is what you get when you mix The Percy Jackson Books and Mormon culture.

THE FUZZY BUSH_-This is the place to go and work out your problems when you need privacy.  You can go alone or with the person who is your problem.  Look around you and you will notice fuzzy bushes everywhere.

NOT SIMPATICO-  This is James lingo for "Not good"  Team sports are Not Simpatico.  Summer camps are Not Simpatico.   Bedtime is not Simpatico.

BACK-UP DADS_- His first mortal father being David James has a list of "Back-up dads" just in case.  While most kids his age list and number their best friends James has his list of Back-up dads.  This list includes (In no particular order)  Brandon, Jeremiah, Grandpa and Brian.  I will not list the order he put them in because I do not want to create rivalry between the men. 

In conclusion:  If you find your day to be Not-Simpatico locate a fuzzy bush and grab your back-up dad.  If all goes well in the Fuzzy bush your day may evolvalate in to something awesome!!!


http://youtu.be/BvG5OTNtXx8

Restoration

             
                                                                                                                                                                                   When I was in 4th grade we had a behind the scenes tour of  The San Diego Museum of Art.  I remember seeing the process of a painting being restored.  The guide explained that: "The restoration of paintings is a very exact science and must be done by a professional conservator. If you attempt to restore paintings on your own, you may unintentionally cause permanent damage or considerably diminish the value of your painting. "

  In short the steps are to
1.  Carefully clean using a soft brush and special chemicals.
2.  Repair any tears or damage to the painting.
3.  Varnish to protect the painting so it will be stronger in the future

     Right now I am working on the restoration of a family relationship.  I am finding the steps to cleaning a priceless work of art to be helpful.  I will carefully follow the steps as many times as is needed.

  I hope to use a soft brush to clean off any misunderstandings.  I hope to repair any tears or damage I may have inflicted on someones heart.  I will use the very strongest varnish to protect my priceless relationship so it will be stronger in the future. 

   When I was in 4th grade  the physical appearence of a painting in the  process of  restoration   was fascinating to see.  Half the painting was bright and beautiful and the other half was grey and dark.  The tour guide  explained the process of restoration was slow and exact.  I remember thinking "WOW!  That painting must mean a lot to
someone to go to all that work."     

      I guess when you are a kid it just seems easier to throw away something that is old and damaged.   When I was young it seemed like something new and better was just around the corner.  Youth made me impatient, always looking for the fresh and novel.  As I have aged I have learned to value people more.  I have discovered relationships take  work and dedication.  I have come to understand that a soft brush to clean,  the right tools to repair   and the best varnish to protect  are just the tools I need to restore the priceless relationships in my life.

“Success is not to be measured so much by the position that one has reached in life........ as by the obstacles he has overcome by trying to succeed”  ---Booker T. Washington

  The Art of Friendship

                                                                                                                                                                                                   When I was first Married I read an article called 5 Friends.   It explained that you need 5 good friends in your life to fulfill all your different needs.  Even  if you are  married you should take the time and energy to cultivate 5 quality female relationships.  The reason  you need 5 friends is that you cannot put all your emotional, spiritual, social and physical needs on one person.

    The list in the article went as follows.  One friend that you can exercise with,  One that will keep your secrets, One  "couple friend"  for date nights with your husbands, One friend that shares your personal interests and One friend who will always be there for you in a crisis. 

  I never knew what amazing friends I had until I hit a hard spot last week.  I guess you could call it a crisis.  I didn't really have to mention it because good friends just know.  They knew me well enough to know I was not myself. 

 There were those who were kind enough not to ask the details.  One was always there at the right time with a  supportive word or note.  One who got me away for the day.  One to go the the Temple with.  One who gave me a phone call just when I needed it and I couldn't talk to anyone else.  A few who brought flowers to let me know they were thinking of me.  Gestures of kindness are always most appreciated when they are without judgement.   Friends amaze me when they have so many problems of their own, but listen to me as I work through mine. 

   I have never found 5 friends that fit into the categories listed in the article.  I found something better.  I have  friends who have such tender hearts their qualities can't be listed.  I have  friends who  know what to say to say when I need it the most. 

    Things are getting better.  I am moving forward.   When I look back at this time I hope I remember less of the hurt I felt and more of the loving support I felt from my  friends. 

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten the words"  ---Unknown