Paddle hard-

        Once I had a friend tell me:  "To raise kids in San Diego you have to paddle hard."
She had moved here from Utah and was feeling a difference in the culture.   Shortly after this conversation I had an experience at La Jolla cove.


          Our family was visiting The Cove one day and my daughter Megan wanted to swim to the caves.  My dad warned us it was not a good idea because of tides, currents and other conditions.  My dad has lived in San Diego his whole life and knows what he is talking about.  Megan  wanted to go anyway and did not listen to him.  The other cautious family members stayed on the shore while Megan and I headed out.
        My older brother John came with us, probably  to keep us safe and lead the way.  . 
  The direction we were swimming was against the current and it took most of our strength to get to a low cliff for safety.  As we tried to climb out of the water the waves smashed us against the barnacles and the rocks cut the heck out of our legs.  Because of this  Megan began crying and was very scared.   The only way out  of the water was causing us to be slammed hard against hurtful and damaging rocks.

  At this point a kind man who was on the rock said "Come this way, it is safer!"    

 My brother was giving us the same direction from behind. The man put his hand down,  guided us to a smoother path and lifted us out of the water. 

   When everything was over we had blood dripping down our knees from  our cuts.  I have to admit I felt pretty awesome having survived our dangerous adventure. 

  I will briefly explain the point I am trying to make.
  When my children were young I could swim along with them and protect them from the sharks of life.  I could make sure when they went into the deep water they had a  guide beside them who knew the way.  When the tide and currents took them to places they never intended to go, I could help them find the hand that would lift them  to safety.

  Now my girls have grown up and are charting deep waters on their own. 
 I hope they recognize the experienced  voice  warning them  from the shore. 
 I hope they take along  an older brother who loves them   for a guide. 
And when they crash against the rocks I hope they reach up for the hand that waits to pull them to safety.   

I am confident they will.

The Lingo Of James

   

  My son James has a language of his own.  He makes us laugh so hard when he comes up with new words and Ideas.  Here are just a few of his gems.

EVOLVaLATE_-From the word Evolution this was the word James created at the age of 4.  He  started using it to describe how Pokemon's change.  Now he is certain Tasha's baby will EVOLVALATE into a real kid someday.

DEMI_GOD-  James is certain he is a Demi-god (at least on the playground).  This is because God is his real father and he has been born to the Mortals David and Michelle.  This kind of logic is what you get when you mix The Percy Jackson Books and Mormon culture.

THE FUZZY BUSH_-This is the place to go and work out your problems when you need privacy.  You can go alone or with the person who is your problem.  Look around you and you will notice fuzzy bushes everywhere.

NOT SIMPATICO-  This is James lingo for "Not good"  Team sports are Not Simpatico.  Summer camps are Not Simpatico.   Bedtime is not Simpatico.

BACK-UP DADS_- His first mortal father being David James has a list of "Back-up dads" just in case.  While most kids his age list and number their best friends James has his list of Back-up dads.  This list includes (In no particular order)  Brandon, Jeremiah, Grandpa and Brian.  I will not list the order he put them in because I do not want to create rivalry between the men. 

In conclusion:  If you find your day to be Not-Simpatico locate a fuzzy bush and grab your back-up dad.  If all goes well in the Fuzzy bush your day may evolvalate in to something awesome!!!


http://youtu.be/BvG5OTNtXx8

Restoration

             
                                                                                                                                                                                   When I was in 4th grade we had a behind the scenes tour of  The San Diego Museum of Art.  I remember seeing the process of a painting being restored.  The guide explained that: "The restoration of paintings is a very exact science and must be done by a professional conservator. If you attempt to restore paintings on your own, you may unintentionally cause permanent damage or considerably diminish the value of your painting. "

  In short the steps are to
1.  Carefully clean using a soft brush and special chemicals.
2.  Repair any tears or damage to the painting.
3.  Varnish to protect the painting so it will be stronger in the future

     Right now I am working on the restoration of a family relationship.  I am finding the steps to cleaning a priceless work of art to be helpful.  I will carefully follow the steps as many times as is needed.

  I hope to use a soft brush to clean off any misunderstandings.  I hope to repair any tears or damage I may have inflicted on someones heart.  I will use the very strongest varnish to protect my priceless relationship so it will be stronger in the future. 

   When I was in 4th grade  the physical appearence of a painting in the  process of  restoration   was fascinating to see.  Half the painting was bright and beautiful and the other half was grey and dark.  The tour guide  explained the process of restoration was slow and exact.  I remember thinking "WOW!  That painting must mean a lot to
someone to go to all that work."     

      I guess when you are a kid it just seems easier to throw away something that is old and damaged.   When I was young it seemed like something new and better was just around the corner.  Youth made me impatient, always looking for the fresh and novel.  As I have aged I have learned to value people more.  I have discovered relationships take  work and dedication.  I have come to understand that a soft brush to clean,  the right tools to repair   and the best varnish to protect  are just the tools I need to restore the priceless relationships in my life.

“Success is not to be measured so much by the position that one has reached in life........ as by the obstacles he has overcome by trying to succeed”  ---Booker T. Washington

  The Art of Friendship

                                                                                                                                                                                                   When I was first Married I read an article called 5 Friends.   It explained that you need 5 good friends in your life to fulfill all your different needs.  Even  if you are  married you should take the time and energy to cultivate 5 quality female relationships.  The reason  you need 5 friends is that you cannot put all your emotional, spiritual, social and physical needs on one person.

    The list in the article went as follows.  One friend that you can exercise with,  One that will keep your secrets, One  "couple friend"  for date nights with your husbands, One friend that shares your personal interests and One friend who will always be there for you in a crisis. 

  I never knew what amazing friends I had until I hit a hard spot last week.  I guess you could call it a crisis.  I didn't really have to mention it because good friends just know.  They knew me well enough to know I was not myself. 

 There were those who were kind enough not to ask the details.  One was always there at the right time with a  supportive word or note.  One who got me away for the day.  One to go the the Temple with.  One who gave me a phone call just when I needed it and I couldn't talk to anyone else.  A few who brought flowers to let me know they were thinking of me.  Gestures of kindness are always most appreciated when they are without judgement.   Friends amaze me when they have so many problems of their own, but listen to me as I work through mine. 

   I have never found 5 friends that fit into the categories listed in the article.  I found something better.  I have  friends who have such tender hearts their qualities can't be listed.  I have  friends who  know what to say to say when I need it the most. 

    Things are getting better.  I am moving forward.   When I look back at this time I hope I remember less of the hurt I felt and more of the loving support I felt from my  friends. 

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten the words"  ---Unknown

Moving on.......

Note:  I found this unfinished draft in my files and decided to post it unfinished  enjoy

A little light is moving out of my life. Megan is finishing up her year of lasts. Last year in High School, Halloween with the family, last church dance and many more. She is growing up and moving on. I would laugh when I would see those Take your kid to College commercials with the mother crying. But, it is just like that.

Even worse.


My Friend told me "Home is never home again. They will come for a visit, but their life if elsewhere." I thought "Maybe for you.....my kids really love ME!"

But, it has already happened with my other daughter Tasha.

But, I am excited for her. To grow in so many ways that are so important I will not trivilize them by listing them. The best is ahead for her. I cannot wait to see the woman she will become.

I will just miss the amazing light these two brought to my days.....

Nothing can replace a sister.

Another unfinished draft I found in my files from 2010 I think.  I wanted to post it unfinished




Yesterday we had The Mitchels and the Halls over to play. That was 7 children running all over the house and yard. There were laughter and tears, battles and harmony. It was a great day!!

Today Megan asked me why I was having another group over to play today.

Good question.

I was thinking about it as I sat listening to 6 children playing Mr. Potato in the Bonus room. Why do I host so many playdates for James? A lot of effort and cleanup goes into these adventures. It might be easier to just turn on the T.V. and take a break once and a while.

So I made a list of reasons:
To develop his social skills.

To keep him stimulated.

To hear the laughter of children.

To socially network.

To help him learn to cooperate
with a group.




But, perhaps most of all to help him miss his sister Tasha a tiny bit less. At the end of the day he still wants to tell her of all his adventures and sorrows. No matter what nothing can replace the deep love he has for his sister.

Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister

---Alice Walker

My Turn

My Turn

About 3 years ago my first and oldest daughter Natasha wrote this blog post that melted my heart.
http://tashamoon.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/i-love-my-mother/

   For Christmas that year she asked what I wanted for Christmas and I said "Just that Blogpost framed so that I can read it on my bad days."  It hangs framed and dusty by my bathroom mirror and has helped me through some of the hardest times in my life.

   Like other mothers I wonder if I am doing it right.  I question myself daily.  Sometimes my family is hard on me and sometimes I feel the judgement of the world.  Tasha helped me see the good in myself I did not see.

Since the day she wrote the post I have tried to write one about her in return.  I am no where the Blogger that she is, but I wanted her to have the some kind of reference to the fantastic person she has always been.  So now it is my turn.

My Daughter, my Teacher

    When I think of my daughter Tasha the scripture that often comes into my mind is Matthew 5:14 "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid."  She has truly been a light in  my life in so many ways.  I do not know what I did in the Premortal life to qualify me as a  Mother for such an amazing girl. 

    Tasha is a light in much of what she does and says.  She has a tremendous understanding of the Gospel and has guided me at times with her insight and is humble enough to seek mine.  Tasha has always been a beautiful example of dressing modestly.  She has a gift and a love for little children especially her brother. I love when she takes to time to talk to James about the Gospel.  Sometimes he shares with me the things she has said and I know she has a great impact on him. When Tasha sings it is with the beauty of an angel and her testimony always shines through.  She sings to bear testimony of the Savior and the Gospel not to glorify herself.

  Tasha has blessed our lives with two young men that David and I love as sons.  The first one was her best friend in High School who remains a strength and example to our family.  The Second is her fantastic husband that we are amazed by everyday.  I know Tasha will be an inspired  mother and Brandon will be a careful loving father.  Their goodness brings us such joy.

  Tasha has a unwavering obedience to the Lord  that inspires others to be better.  She is humble enough to know she has flaws and involves the Lord in overcoming them.  She has been open about her struggle with depression and has strengthened many in the process.   I have been so proud of her brave struggle with this terrible episode.  She is coming out of this depression with greater strength than ever before.   Just when I didn't think she could get better as a person the Lord found a way to give her a trial to make her even stronger. 


 Sometimes we teach our children about life and sometimes they teach us.  I am so blessed as a mother to share a life with a daughter who always stands for truth and righteousness  even when she has to stand alone.  One of my greatest blessings in life is to know that I get to be her mom forever.

  I love you Tasha you are everything a mother could ask for.